When I look back at the last 12 months since I first went for healing I can’t help but be amazed at how so much has happened to transform me into a totally new person. The physical change alone was something that even I myself went beyond what I thought I could achieve. There’s something to be said about how connecting the mind, body, and spirit and line them up from the outside to the inside and top to bottom opens up to something even greater.
I knew when I set out on that path to change my life irrevocably back in 2010 that the journey to physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual recovery would be so profound. I was unhappy, lonely, angry, sad, lacking confidence, and pretty much feeling miserable. Being fat, sick, drugged up, and nearly dead can sap the will of anyone and I was no exception. Years of abuse and neglect of not just the body but the mind and spirit as well left me as one busted up shell of a person.
I knew that the road back to the light and out of the utter darkness would be painful and exhausting and my heart was telling my mind to get back up one more time. To climb out from under the rubble I had buried myself in and start walking. I remember that in December 2010 I decided to go on the ultimate journey and cry out to the Universe that fateful day, “I’m going to wherever you lead me and I trust in the hands of fate. All I want is to change irrevocably in every aspect and be the true me. I don’t know how, when, and where and I don’t really care. I just want to change. I lift myself up to you Creator!”
So I set out on that journey on the first day of January 2011 and never looked back. Change comes in stages and I had made it through the first stage and achieved my physical goal of losing over 60 pounds from 297 to 237 by the time I collided head-on with destiny on Oct. 18, 2011 at the W Hotel in Hollywood. I knew from the first time I met Radha that she was someone special and unique. There was an aura about her and a powerful connection of energies I felt that very first time. It was an aura of calming, loving, soothing, and joyful energy that calmed my heart and soul. At that time I did not know about her expertise as a healer and all I felt was that she was an honest and pure soul.
Healing oneself is a choice and it takes years to get over the accumulation of heartaches, anger, neglect, loneliness, and sadness from what life throws at us. For some they never get over it and live a life as an empty shell of a person devoid of love. I was already on that road and I just needed that extra push to get me over the edge and jump further out into the cosmic realm of life. Radha approached me about energy healing in early November and I remember there was bit of hesitancy on my part to even consider it. The little I knew about it was something to do with rituals and meditation having had some exposure to it in Vancouver where I used to live. To an extent the healing I was familiar with as a child was that of the faith healers in the Philippines but memories of it were foggy to me.
Radha’s very intuitive and she could sense that bit of hesitation and she just directed me to her website www.goldengoddesshealing.com and that is where this story truly unfolds. Golden Goddess Healing is a simple yet elegant and beautiful website that immediately calmed my soul and what stuck with me was the portion from the homepage that said,
“I clear Shock & Trauma, limiting beliefs, recurring fears. Clearing these blocks allows you to move forward and attain the life you want.”
I’ve been to thousands of websites and this one I knew was constructed by her from the heart and spoke about her true being and sincerity. Too often I’ve seen so many websites enamored with all flash, bells, and whistles with little to no substance. Here was a website that was simply about Radha as a person and as an authentic healer. So I took that leap of faith and booked my first session on Nov.22, 2011. Healing is not about one stop quick fixes and Radha emphasized that continuous sessions would be more beneficial. Spiritual tune-ups can’t be just effective if one thinks of it as a band-aid to patch all the holes in the heart and soul. I committed to that and she showed me what it feels like to feel unconditional love, support, and true friendship.
Fast forward to one year later and the evolution of my mind, body, and soul has forever been transformed.
From the outside everyone in my circle of family and friends has seen the incredible change in my body and pictures tell a powerful story. To those that have known me that was already a big enough transformation but I knew I was transforming further and further inside. Healing is about finding one’s true self and can only be really transforming if you yourself truly want to commit to that change one hundred percent. No shortcuts, no wishy washiness, no procrastination. You have to have that burning desire to totally reshape yourself in every way possible.
What I learned from the lessons of empowerment and unconditional love and support I received from someone I consider as my one true best friend is that I have so much to give back to the world. From Radha and then from Mayadevi (www.centerforthetahealing.com) I learned to look further inward into the deepest crevices and crevasses of my being and let their love and light shine through the darkness. Being empowered gives one such a powerful feeling and when your being is opened up to what is beyond the five senses of this reality it fills the heart and soul with such divine energy.
Every month I felt like I was a giant onion peeling back so many deep layers of negativity from trapped emotions, feelings, fears, guilt, anger, regret, grief, sadness, and pre-programmed beliefs. It came in waves and waves of pent-up energy. At times gentle like a breeze of air and at times like a hurricane and tornado combined as one. I felt like literally I was being torn apart and there were some months I asked myself, “Am I dying?” I don’t mean to scare anyone reading this but for me I felt like I was literally being turned inside out cell by cell and with 3 trillion of them it was quite excruciating. There were days I was literally out of energy and could not get out of bed. All I wanted to do was just sleep and in my sleep there would be more turbulence.
I understand those experiences as part of the healing process, an intense catharsis of so many lifetimes being expunged along with the current one. I learned to look inward further and further through the meditations and the YouTube videos she shared with me. That’s why what I am writing here now is about how one person can be the Brightest Light to one and enabled and empowered someone to be the change they were meant to be. To be the True self that was hid in a compartment of the heart and soul because society dictated it had to follow its rules and norms.
As the months flew by my true self started to come out from the shadows and into the light. Reluctantly at first and I admit I would fall into the old ways of thinking when seeds of doubt would be planted by the less enlightened ones. Through it all though I let my intuition and my heart guide me to life changing decision after decision. When I had questions and doubts Radha was always there for support and that is a True friend. She guided me through all the confusion that I was going through.
Meanwhile I still pushed on further with the physical transformation by entering several fitness challenges to keep me focused on my ultimate goal of competing on stage. It would actually turn out to be my sanctuary and I found solace in the gym where I could focus like a laser connecting my mind, body, and spirit to channel the negative energy and convert it into something constructive. The pictures are evidence I pushed myself beyond the limits of what my 45-year-old body normally stopped at.
The second half of this year highlighted a more complete and complex look inward into my heart and soul and make quantum decisions not based on logic of the mind. I let my heart speak to me and the intuition guide me and my old self struggled mightily to keep control and it was gut-wrenching to make the decisions that would determine my path in life towards enlightenment. We’re so programmed into thinking that our mind is the almighty and powerful decision maker of our lives when in reality it is the heart that is the true divine source. Through meditation I learned from Radha and Mayadevi, I opened up myself to the Great Consciousness so wondrous to behold and mere words cannot describe the connection. I learned to love myself first and foremost and not be afraid anymore. It really is all about Love in its true essence the way it was and the way it should be. No pretenses, no agendas, just pure unconditional Love.
Instead of struggling to control a lot of things unfolding in my life I surrender to the great flow and let go of anything and everything that ties me and binds me into a lie. People come into your lives for many reasons and some stay and some go. For me, the twelve months of friendship and support from Radha makes me smile and be happy even as I know things will only be better for all of us. From Mayadevi I have been able to connect myself to different planes of realities and see the Light inside of me. Now I dedicate myself to my creativity of ages past and I have started to write a very special series of books for the whole world.
We are entering a new age of enlightenment and empowerment and each journey one takes is their own path and road the Universe has laid out for us. We can manifest those changes to the true self by letting go and moving forward. I learned a lot about unconditional love, the divine connection, and the greater consciousness that connects us all from Radha my best friend. It is with a thankful and grateful heart filled with love that now envelops my being and I share it with everyone as she has to me. We are all One. We are all connected. Namaste.
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